the week has been kinda like this:
spent half a day with matt's mom, aunt, cousin, brother and sister-in-law. what i had feared to be terrifying ended up only being out of control. we fed ducks, lit a fire while the damper was closed (thus suffocating the house in smoke), and caused a general ruckus. the aunt shares my name. and ran around smelling the leaves on trees.
after escaping early from the family function, i got gas at the station where my brother works. there was a fight between one of the employees and a couple of customers, and then on my way out i hit a car. we exchanged information and i cried all the way home, then got to work late.
on wednesday while i was watching the twins i ducked into the basement for a few minutes to do laundry towards the end of their nap. as i came back up the stairs i could hear them shrieking, but it wasn't the usual riled up jumping and yelling. i ran up the second flight of stairs and the two of them were wailing at the top of their lungs. thiel had become so agitated while i was in the basement that he repeatedly banged his head against the metal bars of his crib and had a large purplish goose egg in the middle of his forehead. thiel was in pain and abby was frightened and i felt like the most incompetent, awful person in the world. i held and soothed them as best i could, but they were fragile and clingy for the rest of the afternoon.
my car died, too, on the way to work that day, and i've been bumming car rides and loans off my roommates since. perhaps god is telling me something.
this evening i babysat for the comic book family. yes! jen told me about the jewish calendar and the obscure holidays that they've begun to focus on since their kids have become a bit older. at temple that evening the kids had sang the song "i've got that shabbat feeling down in my lev." and yes, it is the same tune as "i've got the joyjoyjoyjoy down in my heart." hilarious. and awesome. tonight i wanted more than anything to be jewish. it seems like a good idea to have more than two religious observances a year - i can see how it would bring a community together and forge a stronger tie to "church history." then again, i'm not jewish, so what do i know?
i had my first voice lesson today. sometimes i wish i could sing for the rest of my life, it feels that good.
