Sometimes life is like this:

Oh! Hooray! I'm finally not sick and feeling better and happy and energetic!
Oh... wait... I have pink eye?!
I have to spend my day off at the clinic in the hopes of getting eye drops?!
I longed for this every day of my grade school life and now get it at the age of 24?!

100

Yes, here it is, post number 100. In celebration of this great event, I have compiled this:

A List of (100/2) Things!

There is no real order to any of this, so please, bear with me.

1. Today I went to my bank and got a cashier's check in the amount of $1900 and sent it in the mail to the company that has planned my NEW ZEALAND TRIP! Cashier's check? Yes. It saved me $50. Here's the plan: Portland - Auckland - Sydney - Auckland - Honolulu - Portland, October 15 through January 15. Soon. Very soon.
2. Two weeks ago I went back to REI. A guy who hadn't helped me the first time around walked up to me and said, "So, you're back." I had hoped that it had been long enough that I wouldn't be remembered. Hiking boots: check. Enough said.
3. Everyone's been making a big deal about that book A Million Little Pieces, but I don't think it's that great.
4. I've talked and talked and talked about it, but here's a summary for anyone who didn't know: St. Patrick's day, drunk driver, hit-and-run, my car doesn't drive, airbags are scary, might need a lawyer.
5. I promised Jack Saturn that we'd make it to dinner alive, and we did. It's a good thing I didn't promise him we'd make it back to NE without having to ride in a police car.
6. Rooftop shower at my youth hostel in Hawaii. You get clean, watch the waves and get a tan all at once. Hallelujah, Praise Jesus, Amen.
7. Jacques Cousteau is my idol.
8. The perfect sympathy gift right now would be a ride to Seattle to see Sufjan Stevens.
9. When I was five I thought David Bowie was hot. Beat that.
10. When people I don't know walk into my house, look at Kona and immediately say, "WHOA! That is the fattest cat I've ever seen!" I make a mental note to hold a grudge against them for at least thirty days.
11. My brother had to get stitches in his head four times before the age of ten.
12. I told a friend that I've been completely exhausted for about two weeks and he said that I might have mono. Now that would be funny.
13. I'm using my parents computer and my mom has the cursor programmed to be a conch shell and sailboat steering wheel (what are those things called?) and it's all making me completely insane.
14. Singing with Gena at the bar went well. For the last song she picked up her acoustic guitar and Gena, Jon Moore and I stepped off the stage to sing the last song. Every single person in the bar was silent and it was beautiful.
15. I can now count the number of couples getting married this summer on two hands.
16. Things to be thankful for: Friends with whom you can have joint custody of a completely wonderful book.
17. Sexing the Cherry by Jeanette Winterson is my new favorite.
18. Finding (100/2) things to list is harder than I thought.
19. A list of 100 would have been impossible.
20. Carmen O'Brien is the most photogenic person I've ever met.
21. Beware: I have the power to psychoanalyze you.
22. When I first became a nanny I didn't think that I'd end up actually raising someone else's children. It's terrifying.
23. I learn a lot from singing with Todd and Angie.
24. I will never raise mice.
25. I will never skydive.
26. I sing in the shower with my quiet voice.
27. I sing in the car with my loud voice (that's why I miss it so much).
28. I like buildings that don't have a 13th floor.
29. Once my Dad and my brother tricked me into watching Event Horizon. It's probably the most horrible movie I will ever see.
30. Last month in Seaside, Oregon in the middle of the night with a bottle of wine and Gena Gestaldi I saw Orion's bow for the first time.
31. When I was a kid my mom used to take me out to watch stars with a thermos of hot chocolate and a giant telescope. I would always fall asleep halfway through and snore like a bear.
32. I had hiccups in the womb.
33. Godzilla flavored shave ice is a bad bad bad idea.
34. What scares me the worst: airplanes.
35. What scares me the second worst: sharks.
36. What scares me the third worst: sleeping alone in empty houses.
37. Apparently children in Britain say things like, "Snow is my favorite and it is my best" which is so endearing it makes me want to live there.
38. I'm sick and can't smell anything, and in my profession, that can be a serious setback. For instance, Thiel had pooped in his diaper but I didn't know it until I went to change him out of his pajamas and found that the poop had squeezed out of his diaper all the way up his back, clear to his armpits. I had to hose him off. (Sick.)
39. If you ever go in a helicopter they might make you wear an awesome yellow fanny pack.
40. My parents' house is full of "collections." I will never be a collector.
41. I hate the word "poignant."
42. I am well loved.
43. My holga is the best thing that has ever happened to my photographs.
44. There are some boys who call our house the Vagistery.
45. Sometimes I drink beer with my Dad. Sometimes my Dad buys beer for Michael Whipple.
46. In New Zealand I am going to swim with dolphins. (They are a shark's natural enemy, so I should be okay.)
47. Dancing? Yes and yes.
48. I need a movie friend who lives in Portland.
49. We read every day.
50. I witnessed this child's entry into the world.

From my toes

In case you haven't heard, Gena is letting me sing with her at this next Day of Lions show.

The Bitter End
9pm
$3

I'm a gimmick! Come out! Witness this milestone in my life!

After work this evening I met up with Gena at Jon Moore's house to have "band practice" (oh god, oh god!). Gena and I had worked through some songs a few evenings before, and when Jon added his voice we sounded like amazing.

I've been elated ever since. I told Melissa that making music with people is like dating but without all the pain. Had I known I would have locked myself in my room with a guitar ages ago.

Two days later

I feel badly that I posted in anger. I'm sure there's some rule in the Bible about not writing in your blog after the sun has gone down without first reconciling with an enemy.

Not that this person is now my enemy! Yesterday I remembered that I am often sensitive. Most of the time I don't need to remember this because I am blessed with such amusing, generous and loving friends (and employers, and parents, and pastors). The last time I cried wasn't even over an emotional wound, but because little Thiel had a temperature of 103 degrees after taking his first dose of Amoxicillin and it scared me.

This person merely had a tactless evening. And I've learned that tactless people make my sensitive self go "ouch" far too frequently. Consider this a lesson learned!

Not all boys are stupid, but this one is

I don't even know where to begin.

It seems that every male that I show romantic interest in is the type that is obvious in returning said interest, but won't take me out on a date. Instead, they prefer to ambiguously "hang out" until they know for sure that they can spend the rest of their lives with me. But, since I'm not about to marry someone, it's clear that I have not achieved the calibre of future life partner yet.

Right. So. There's someone, and it's not a big deal, but it's enough of a deal that sometimes I get a little bit excited and bounce around on my toes and scoot my chair around the table. After a couple of cute and awkward "Hey, how are you" encounters, I told him that we should hang out some time. He told me that he is really busy and likes hanging out at his house, but that I could come to his show in a couple of weeks if I wanted. (Burn.)

Then, tonight, I plotted a small plot. Initially it worked out far better than I had hoped for: the someone ends up at the bar, sits next to me, and we ambiguously hang out for a good ninety minutes. Everyone pays their tab and he asks what my plan is for the rest of the evening. I say, "80s dancing! So fun!"

Him: Dancing?! Are you serious? You should come over to my house and watch a movie.

[Does he really think that watching a movie would be better than the hilarity of people watching to David Bowie and Justin Timberlake at The Fez?]

Me: I've been waiting for this all week! You should come out with us!

Him: I can't believe you're going dancing. Dancing is dumb. You'll get pregnant and go to hell.

[Now, I know that he's joking, but isn't that a little... rude?]

Me: Dancing is fun.

[At this point Amanda jumps in and tries to tell him that I'm suuuch a good dancer, which is kind, but isn't working at all.]

Him: So you're going to go the Fez after all I've done for you.

Me: Hmm. What have you done for me?

Him: Well, I came here and sat next to you when I didn't have to.

I couldn't believe it. Really. It just got worse. I was so angry. I still am.
The point is, telling a girl that something that she really enjoys is a waste of time is a good way to get blacklisted. God save me. If the boys in NZ are nice, I may never come back.

Melissa and I went to the Fez unescorted and undeterred. The dancing was good enough, but I was exhausted. We left, nine blocks to my car in the rain and began the drive home.

A block from the on ramp to the Morrison bridge we are in the far right lane of a one way street and a black car is two lanes over to the left. In the middle of the intersection the car turns right and hits the back end of my car. The jolt was huge - I pull over - the black car drives off.

I
am
so
angry.