Celebrate!
My church is great. My church has a women's group. A couple of weeks ago at women's group we sat around and made collages that were metaphors of ourselves - a very Starting Over thing to do. Deborah, my fifty-something pastor currently pursuing her PhD, had a line from a magazine glued on to her page that said "Funk you." I asked her why she had chosen that (also very Starting Over) and she said it was because it sounded a lot like "fuck you" and that more women need to develop a "fuck you attitude" in order to protect themselves. If you happen to be an often-passive female such as myself, or know one, you know that this is a good idea.
Case in point:
This evening I talked Melissa into going out dancing with me at the Holocene even though there was a $10 cover, and even though it was Monday night. Because of the great Mercury write-up I had expected a Portland hipster dance party, overrun with sweaters, glasses, and shuffling feet.
Nope.
Somehow the club was swarming with hippies and ravers, and the men outnumbered the women ten-to-one. And they were, for the most part, creepy men. One of the not-quite-hippies wore a white dress shirt partially unbuttoned and alternated between beat boxing and doing the running man. He looked like Napoleon Dynamite when he practices the dance video in his room. To my horror I accidentally made eye contact with him and he held his hands out and asked me to dance.
If only I had had the Fuck You attitude, but no, I didn't, so I smiled uncomfortably and said "sure" and then he grabbed both of my hands and started spinning me around, attempting to ballroom dance. Mind you, this is all to thinly embelleshed, uninteresting house beats. Awesome.
I pulled my hands away after awhile and tried to stay away from him, but then he pulled his shirt up over his head and stomped around like Godzilla... and...
The good news is that I received sympathy glances from a cute boy in a grey sweatshirt. When I looked at my watch to see if I had spent my $10 in dancing it was midnight, and Cute Boy in Grey Sweatshirt leaned over my shoulder and wished me a happy Valentine's day.
I wish this story had a better ending than that - like, the exchanging of phone numbers! - but it doesn't. Oh well. There's always Kona.
Case in point:
This evening I talked Melissa into going out dancing with me at the Holocene even though there was a $10 cover, and even though it was Monday night. Because of the great Mercury write-up I had expected a Portland hipster dance party, overrun with sweaters, glasses, and shuffling feet.
Nope.
Somehow the club was swarming with hippies and ravers, and the men outnumbered the women ten-to-one. And they were, for the most part, creepy men. One of the not-quite-hippies wore a white dress shirt partially unbuttoned and alternated between beat boxing and doing the running man. He looked like Napoleon Dynamite when he practices the dance video in his room. To my horror I accidentally made eye contact with him and he held his hands out and asked me to dance.
If only I had had the Fuck You attitude, but no, I didn't, so I smiled uncomfortably and said "sure" and then he grabbed both of my hands and started spinning me around, attempting to ballroom dance. Mind you, this is all to thinly embelleshed, uninteresting house beats. Awesome.
I pulled my hands away after awhile and tried to stay away from him, but then he pulled his shirt up over his head and stomped around like Godzilla... and...
The good news is that I received sympathy glances from a cute boy in a grey sweatshirt. When I looked at my watch to see if I had spent my $10 in dancing it was midnight, and Cute Boy in Grey Sweatshirt leaned over my shoulder and wished me a happy Valentine's day.
I wish this story had a better ending than that - like, the exchanging of phone numbers! - but it doesn't. Oh well. There's always Kona.
posted by Missi at 12:48 AM
7 Comments:
i love awkward dance parties.
i think it should be noted that cute sweater boy did not talk to me when you were not there.
missi, you know you should just write him a witty haiku in the mercury.
Lita will tell you: NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH BOYS YOU WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH.
Especially if they are stomping around like Godzilla.
Horrifying
I second that advice. Never. Ever ever make uneccesary eyecontact. lest you recieve gifts, i saw you's, or in your case, godzilla dances.
Dear Missi,
Howl's moving castle will soon be playing at the Laurelhurst.
Movie date?
Lalita, yes and yes. Have you seen it yet?
Missi. I'll be in town on March 2-5. Let's hang out.
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